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Jim Ratz Memorial Scholarship Climb
By Carlyn Cook
Last summer, I applied for the Jim Ratz Memorial Scholarship. This scholarship is awarded each year to two students from Fremont County, Wyoming. The chosen students are awarded the opportunity to climb the Grand Teton, a 13,770 ft tall peak located in the Teton Range near Jackson, Wyoming. The scholarships are supported by fundraisers put on by the International Climbers’ Festival Board throughout the year and by various events at the Climbers’ Festival itself. The Jackson Hole Mountain Guides (JHMG) partner with the program each year and provide the guide to lead the students up the climb.
I was one of many applicants, and was delighted when they called me the day after my interview with the great news that I was awarded one of the two available scholarships. My partner was to be Jessica Roberts from Riverton.
Meeting Rob Hess, my JHMG guide, was one of the most memorable parts of the trip. He is one of the toughest people I know. He is best known for being the third American to climb Everest without oxygen. Needless to say, he is a strong character. Since then, he has been a great example for me, and I have used his strength as an incentive to work hard at everything I do. I am so thankful that Rob was our guide, because with someone who was any less strong or supportive, I’m not sure I would have made it.
The first day Jessica, Rob, and I hiked to Corbett high camp, where we spent the night. It was a long, exhausting hike. We had covered five of the seven thousand feet of the total climb. On the second day we began our ascent at 4am. The first thousand feet was a steep, hard scramble up and over scree and slick boulders —all perched precariously over a 5,000 ft drop off! I was so scared that I almost couldn’t keep going.
After several hours of hiking, we reached the end of the hike-able terrain and began to put on our climbing gear. Looking at the cliff we were about to climb, my heart almost stopped. As Rob set up, I went into an almost mechanical state of mind. I remember putting on my climbing shoes and doing up my pack, but I don’t recall what I was thinking at the time. I do remember being quite cold. We were climbing up the west face of the mountain, so we were in complete darkness. The mountain eclipsed the sun, leaving the air feeling cold and moist.
Rob finished preparing the gear, and decided that I would be the first to make the ascent, even though Jessica was the more comfortable climber. He quickly disappeared around the edge of an outcropping, leading the ascent. That meant that I only had a couple of minutes to prepare myself to crawl out over a 5,000 ft cliff. Too soon, the call came back from Rob. It was my time to go. This was the moment that I discovered what I was made of. I had a decision to make. I could stay there, crying and refusing to go on up the mountain. Or, I could step out onto that ledge, trusting Rob, my climbing skill, and, most importantly, myself.
I’ve heard that in times of extreme stress, time seems to slow down for some. Time didn’t slow down for me; it stopped. There was one moment, as I stood there facing that ledge, that lasted a lifetime. What should I do? Should I go? Or should I refuse? Could I refuse? I did not know. Could I force myself to make the decision of a lifetime? Then, I took a deep breath, hoping it would not be the mistake of a lifetime. With that, I made my choice. I would climb the mountain.
To be perfectly honest, I don’t remember much of the climb past that point. We were constantly moving, so I didn’t have time to think. I do remember a couple of times when I reached particularly terrifying spots where I thought about refusing. However, I asked myself “Then what?” I had already made the decision to climb the mountain. I kept telling myself that I was committed, and that I just had to trust Rob to get me up and down safely. We couldn’t just turn around and go back down, that would be worse than just keeping going up. So that is what I did.
As we neared the top, I became more and more desperate to reach the sunlight. The entire morning we had been traveling in shadows, on the dark side of the mountain. Finally, as we approached the summit, our path led us around the side of the mountain and into the light.
For me, this was the single moment that made the entire journey worthwhile. As I stepped up onto a crust of snow that edged around the mountain, I felt like I was entering a different world. The sun flared across my body, making me squint. Its warmth dissipated the cold tension I had carried up the West Face. As I took in my first breath of air, I felt like a huge weight had lifted off of my shoulders, and I looked around for the first time. Below me, Jackson Hole Basin was covered in golden light. To my right, I could see the line of the Tetons stretching into the distance. I stopped moving for a moment, and just stood there, breathing for a time. I didn’t think about what had happened, or what would happen, I just existed. For that one moment, I knew that I was there, alive, and that was all that mattered.
I turned and followed Rob up to the summit. Behind us was a jumble of mountaintops and the plains of Idaho. To my left, I could see the other half of the Teton Range stretching past the sun. As I sat up there, with the wind lifting my tangled hair around my face, I felt free. The horrible restrictive weight I had carried all morning left me as I took off my helmet and bag and, for the first time that morning, smiled.
Looking back, I think that smile was my biggest gain. My climb up the Grand Teton was one of the best and most difficult experiences of my life. When you face adversity and are challenged beyond your knowledge and experience, but hold out to the end and succeed, the victory smile is the best feeling in the world. It justifies any trials and tears that you faced. That feeling of freedom and of accomplishment is worth any pain and exertion, and leaves you a stronger, better person in the end. And you know what? I climbed the mountain.
The purpose of the Jim Ratz Memorial Scholarship is to provide young people with the opportunity to experience the power of personal achievement and the experience of problem-solving through climbing. Open to individuals between grades 8 and 11, the scholarships are intended to promote climbing and mountaineering in our community. If you're interested in making a donation towards the scholarship, you can send a check to Jim Ratz Memorial Scholarship Fund, PO Box 1304, Lander, WY 82520. Thanks!